“Never Step on a Scorpion”
By Stan Lee, Steve Ditko, and Sam Rosen.
First, thank you to Sean for letting me pitch in on this blog. I believe I will be doing two issues, and then Sean will be doing two, and then back to me and so on. Sorry about the continuous delays getting this first one out.
Here goes:
Out-of-context reference: Betty Brant tells Peter that Ned Leeds is taking her to see the “The Golden Boy,” which I guess would be interesting small-talk if not for the fact that merely two panels before the NYPD arrived at the Daily Bugle to tell Jameson and his staff that The Scorpion is on his way over to kill JJJ.
I'm getting ahead of myself. The “Golden Boy” was a play about a young black man who became a prizefighter to escape the ghetto and raise money to become a surgeon. In the process he makes a Faustian pact with a shady promoter. I wonder how much Stan Lee took from that story of when he was spit-balling the story of the Marvel Universe’s most famous (and tragic) boxer, Battlin’ Jack Murdock and his son Matt. Of course, it's not like that's the first and only story that's ever been made about a boxer who has made poor decisions.
But anyways, back to Scorpion. The Scorpion convinces his guards that he’s experiencing a mental breakdown and by that having his costume back would be therapeutic. Yep. A silly premise, but it’s an awesome page that features this great three-panel sequence of Scorpion busting out of jail. 1. The reader sees Scorpion's fist bust through the bars into the outside. 2. He’s mid-air leaping over adjacent buildings. 3. He’s on the ground.
So word hits The Bugle about The Scorpion's escape, Ned Leeds and Betty Brant plan their date (people were really lax about costumed maniacs threatening their boss’ life in the 60’s, it was a different time) while both Peter and Jonah hatch separate plans for Spider-Man to take care of Scorpion.
Peter and JJJ’s dueling plans are probably the best part of the issue. Somehow they contradict each other’s plans, fail in the execution and still lead to Scorpion being captured:
JJJ decides to lure Spider-Man by publishing an extra edition of Bugle with the headline that screams: “'SPIDER-MAN AND SCORPION ARE PARTNERS' SAYS PUBLISHER.” Jameson figures that Spider-Man will feel obligated to clear his name.
Spider-Man on the other hand decides instead to “…simply show myself swinging through the city until he attacks.” Not exactly Sun Tzu, but hey, there’s a real fun vibe that permeates this whole and the fact that Spider-Man’s master plan is exactly ten words really encapsulates that feel.
So Spidey never reads JJJ’s article, and Scorpion doesn’t attack Spidey. Scorpion pretty much just waltzes into the Bugle through a window and goes straight for JJJ. In fact, the way The Scorpion gets right down to business is pretty admirable: “Break out of jail. Arrive at Daily Bugle. Kill Jameson.”
If this book was about a guy who sets out a goal for himself and accomplishes it, Spidey and JJJ would be dead in a puddle of blood by page 4.
Eventually Spider-Man smartens up and realizes that Scorpion has already arrived at the Bugle. The fight scene is great and takes up half the comic. Spider-Man balls himself up and propels himself like a cannonball, turns his webs into bolos, and eventually webs on Scorpion and swings all over NYC with him in tow. It’s great stuff. Screenshots do a better job of describing this better than I can:
So the issue ends with Scorpion back in jail and JJJ using the Daily Bugle to spin the story as if he single-handedly defeated both Scorpion and Spider-Man. Ned takes Betty away from the scene of the fight since she is pretty shaken up from the whole thing. Jameson's reaction to the fallout is probably the funniest bit I've ever read in a Silver Age comic about insurance fraud:
I could probably write about 10 more pages just about the fight scene. It was a great issue to start out on.
I’d recommend it to anyone to go out and buy the Essential trade just for this issue if you have any affinity for classic Silver Age Marvel. And apologies to A.A. Milne on behalf of Steve Ditko:
