June, 1964
Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko
The Menace of Mysterio
This issue opens with Spider-man going on a crime spree. The entire city is talking about how they always knew he’d one day go bad, and now here it is. Jameson is ecstatic, Flash Thompson is depressed, and Liz Allen remains fickle and goes with the crowd. The most interesting reaction to the crime wave is Peter Parker. He doesn’t wonder who is framing him. He doesn’t wonder who has dressed up like Spider-man and gone on this rampage. He assumes he is losing his mind.
Parker wonders “Am I becoming a split personality? Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Perhaps I did it in my sleep without knowing” (Page 3). This might seem like a drastic assumption, but really it’s not. At the age of fifteen he gained the ability to walk sideways up walls and developed a buzzing sensation in his head that warned him of danger. To accept these turn of events as common place would be foolish. To not doubt his sanity would be insane. So Peter does the rational thing and swings into a psychiatrist’s office to get his head shrunk. I would have liked for this scene to take place, but he freaks out at the last second and leaves before the doctor gets him on the couch. The psychiatrist yells after him, “Stop! You’re the kind of patient every psychiatrist dreams of!” (Page 5)
He figures out the framing scheme once he meets Mysterio. In my youth, I read Spider-man comics from approximately 1990 to 1995. During this time, Mysterio never had a full comic where he was the major villain. He showed up occasionally for a few frames in books where the basis was Peter Parker’s social problems and they needed some filler. And he’d also hang around in the background every time the Sinister Six made a reunion tour. But I always thought he was generically evil and uninteresting.
Not so. It turns out Mysterio is actually a media hound. Like Paris Hilton. And like Paris Hilton, Mysterio is willing to do strange and morally questionable things to become famous. Mysterio wants to be recognized and loved in New York City. This is his main goal. The most interesting thing about Mysterio is that he would not exist if not for Spider-man. He was a stunt double for the movies and decided that he could artificially imitate all of Spider-man’s powers. He figures out how to be Spider-man and then moves on to create Mysterio.
He went on a crime spree as Spider-man in order to frame him and then set himself up as the hero of the city when he fought the webslinger. Like in most issues, Spider-man loses the first fight, learns a lesson, and then comes back to beat the villain. After Mysterio gets his win, there’s a scene of him being driving down the street in a parade, waving to everyone and just as happy as can be. So, yes, he stole a bunch of money and jewels, but it really seems like he was in it for the adoration. How much can you begrudge a guy for just wanting to be loved? Besides, it’s not like he was drunk driving or leaking out videos of night vision blowjobs.
It's too bad there's not a video of Mysterio giving a blowjob out there. That would be hot. Plus, I'd really like to see how he manages to suck a dick through his head-shield.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of dick-sucking, I imagine that Iron Man and Dr. Doom could not have been dick-suckers, considering their immovable (and demure) mouth-slits. My theory could be misplaced, though, if Tony and Victor were into blowing pixies and midgets.