The Amazing Spider-man #15

August, 1964

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

My Favorite Bizarre Reference:

Under Stan Lee’s name in the credit box it says “Because we couldn’t afford Micky Spillane.”

Wikipedia tells me that Mickey Spillane is a crime novelist, most popular in the seventies and eighties, whose most famous character is Mike Hammer. He got his start writing comic stories for Captain Marvel, Superman, Batman, and Captain America. I think Stan Lee probably could have afforded him if he really wanted to.

Kraven the Hunter

This was a good recovery from the last issue. The Chameleon, the first villain Spider-man ever faced, is back. He’s portrayed as a man of the world, a spy with fine tastes and a hatred for heroism. He knows that he can’t beat Spider-man on his own, so he’s brought in a ringer: Kraven the Hunter.

Kraven is an impressive character. He spews out a couple of clichés, such as “It’s an old jungle trick” and “I am here to hunt the most dangerous game of all: man!” (Page 6) But for the most part he’s an engaging villain who deserves a lot more issues.

He’s not necessarily evil. He’s a hunter and he wants to hunt the most difficult prey he can find. The Chameleon befriended him at one point and has now put him on the trail of Spider-man. What makes Kraven interesting is the way he fights. He has a more realistic style and therefore is more frightening than most Spider-man characters. Example: In their first encounter he poisons Spider-man with some type of nerve agent. The poison makes Spider-man woozy and causes his hands to shake for over forty-eight hours. This seems spookier than a giant metal arm or an electric bolt to me.

Here’s the unrealistic part: Kraven keeps himself strong by drinking some crazy juju juice that he stole from an African shaman. He can run as fast as a cheetah and drop a charging rhino with a single punch. But, despite these powers, Spider-man is faster and stronger. So Kraven has to rely on technique and his bag of tricks to fight the webslinger.

Spider-man's opinion of Kraven highlights a great personality flaw. Kraven announces that he plans to hunt and capture Spider-man and Peter Parker thinks, “He’s the worst kind of enemy- a nut who fights you just for the sheer fun of it.” (Page 9) He doesn’t realize that he and Kraven share the exact same pass time. In nearly every issue Spider-man is either commenting on how much he’s enjoying fighting people or wishing he could tussle with someone who can give him a run for his money. He enjoys the thrill of the fight as much as Kraven. In fact, just a few scenes before he calls Kraven a nut, Spider-man beats up a group of drunks and thinks, “Now that was a pleasant way to spend a few idle minutes.” (Page 8)

The difference between Spider-man’s penchant for violence and Kraven’s hunter lifestyle is that while Kraven brazenly wears his unbalanced excitement on his sleeve, Spider-man tends to make excuses and punish himself for it. Kraven, after finding that Spider-man is much stronger than he anticipated, is ecstatic. The Chameleon comments on his state of agitation saying, “I don’t get it, Kraven! You say he’s far stronger and far more dangerous than you anticipated- and yet you’re happy about it!” (Page 10) Spider-man, on the other hand, morosely imagines what will happen to Aunt May if Kraven captures him.

Keep in mind, there’s no need to fight Kraven. The Hunter has not broken any laws and is not even necessarily a bad guy. He also doesn’t know Spider-man’s secret identity, so if he remains Peter Parker for a few days Kraven very well may leave the country. But instead of the peaceful road, Peter concocts some dip-shit scheme to plant a tracking device on his enemy so he’ll know where he is all the time.

He doesn’t need to know where he is.

If Peter’s truly worried that he might be captured by Kraven thereby ruining Aunt May’s life, he should just not dress in tights for a week or two. But, just like Kraven, he desires the test of skills. He wants to prove his manhood and he wants to battle.

Spider-man “hunts the hunter” (Page 20), as Stan Lee was destined to write at one point in this book, and comes out on top. Peter Parker is as macho as Kraven, more macho, perhaps, than Flash Thompson, but excuses himself for it with a deprecating self-image and mental flagellation. Spider-man defeats Kraven and the Chameleon and the two are deported to South America where the hunter will hunt and plan his vengeful return.

The Amazing Spider-man #14

July, 1964

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

Favorite Reference:

While speaking to Flash’s chances with Liz Allen, Peter says “You’ve got as much chance with her as Khrushchev has with J. Edgar Hoover.”

This one was tough. I know J. Edgar Hoover was the founder of the F.B.I. And Wikipedia tells me that Khrushchev was a Russian that took over after Stalin died and was one of the faces of the Cold War. So I suppose that he and Hoover wouldn’t be buddies. But I have to agree with Flash here. If someone said that to me, I would assume they need a punch in the face.

The Grotesque Adventure of The Green Goblin

The Enforcers are back! The Incredible Hulk guest stars! The first appearance of the Green Goblin!

This issue was actually terrible. The storyline wasn’t thought out very well, the action was lame, and even the Peter Parker drama was rehashed, throwaway crap. The Green Goblin is probably the most recognizable villain in the Spider-man pantheon, second possibly to Dr. Octopus or Venom, but his introduction was a dud.

The opening scene was really good, though. Ditko draws a portrait of the Green Goblin, out of his costume, working on his mechanical broom. (It’s a broom in the first issue and not the hover craft the Goblin eventually uses) In the foreground is the goblin mask, setting on its holder, eyes wide and white, the mouth open in a silent scream. I don’t know why, but the goblin mask on its holder always spooks me. Gives me a chill. And Ditko must know what he has, because he opens and closes the comic with it. It might have to do with the fact that the Goblin takes care of his things. He wants the mask to retain shape, so he keeps it on the holder when he's not viciously attacking people. It's organized insanity, like Buffalo Bill working diligently on his girl skin. Criminal madness coupled with attention to detail freaks me out.

So the basic plot is this: the Green Goblin finds The Enforcers who have just got out of jail and are hanging out in “a sleazy hotel room” (Page 1) I would think Fancy Dan would demand something a little more high class, but there it is. There are many mistakes in this scene. The Goblin says, “I’m willing to give the four of you your orders.” And Montana answers back “You’re nuts, Goblin. The Enforcers don’t take orders from anyone” (Page 1). First of all, there are only three Enforcers: Fancy Dan, Montana, and Ox. Secondly, The Enforcers do so take orders. They were certainly taking orders from The Big Man in issue #10. In fact, their name itself implies that they take orders. They are The Enforcers. Someone makes a decision and they enforce it. They are meant to take orders. And, of course, they end up taking orders from the Goblin.

The Goblin’s big idea is border-line retarded. In Hollywood, he pitches an idea to a movie director to make a bio pic about Spider-man. He and The Enforcers will play the villains. He then flies to New York, tells Spider-man about the movie, and flies back to Hollywood. He bides his time and when they are about to start shooting the movie he asks Spider-man if he wants to go off somewhere private with him and The Enforcers to rehearse their lines. Spider-man agrees and then they jump him. This is his plan. I don’t see why he couldn’t have just hired The Enforcers and went after him in New York.

They end up fighting in a cave where the Hulk was hiding. I don’t even want to discuss how stupid this is. I really like the Hulk. He’s probably my favorite comic book character. He came out of no where, had nothing to do with the plot, and fought for a bit. It was the equivalent of a walk-on on the Ed Sullivan show, minus anything that is interesting or skillful about doing a walk-on on the Ed Sullivan show.

This issue was a total bust. It does peak my interest about the Green Goblin, though. He ends up being an integral part of the Spider-man legend and it will be fascinating to see how they reform his character after this absurd introduction.

DUMB

The Amazing Spider-man #13

June, 1964

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

The Menace of Mysterio

This issue opens with Spider-man going on a crime spree. The entire city is talking about how they always knew he’d one day go bad, and now here it is. Jameson is ecstatic, Flash Thompson is depressed, and Liz Allen remains fickle and goes with the crowd. The most interesting reaction to the crime wave is Peter Parker. He doesn’t wonder who is framing him. He doesn’t wonder who has dressed up like Spider-man and gone on this rampage. He assumes he is losing his mind.

Parker wonders “Am I becoming a split personality? Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Perhaps I did it in my sleep without knowing” (Page 3). This might seem like a drastic assumption, but really it’s not. At the age of fifteen he gained the ability to walk sideways up walls and developed a buzzing sensation in his head that warned him of danger. To accept these turn of events as common place would be foolish. To not doubt his sanity would be insane. So Peter does the rational thing and swings into a psychiatrist’s office to get his head shrunk. I would have liked for this scene to take place, but he freaks out at the last second and leaves before the doctor gets him on the couch. The psychiatrist yells after him, “Stop! You’re the kind of patient every psychiatrist dreams of!” (Page 5)

He figures out the framing scheme once he meets Mysterio. In my youth, I read Spider-man comics from approximately 1990 to 1995. During this time, Mysterio never had a full comic where he was the major villain. He showed up occasionally for a few frames in books where the basis was Peter Parker’s social problems and they needed some filler. And he’d also hang around in the background every time the Sinister Six made a reunion tour. But I always thought he was generically evil and uninteresting.

Not so. It turns out Mysterio is actually a media hound. Like Paris Hilton. And like Paris Hilton, Mysterio is willing to do strange and morally questionable things to become famous. Mysterio wants to be recognized and loved in New York City. This is his main goal. The most interesting thing about Mysterio is that he would not exist if not for Spider-man. He was a stunt double for the movies and decided that he could artificially imitate all of Spider-man’s powers. He figures out how to be Spider-man and then moves on to create Mysterio.

He went on a crime spree as Spider-man in order to frame him and then set himself up as the hero of the city when he fought the webslinger. Like in most issues, Spider-man loses the first fight, learns a lesson, and then comes back to beat the villain. After Mysterio gets his win, there’s a scene of him being driving down the street in a parade, waving to everyone and just as happy as can be. So, yes, he stole a bunch of money and jewels, but it really seems like he was in it for the adoration. How much can you begrudge a guy for just wanting to be loved? Besides, it’s not like he was drunk driving or leaking out videos of night vision blowjobs.

The Amazing Spiderman #11 and #12

May, 1964

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Dikto

Favorite Reference: Frank Buck

Spiderman helps to round up dangerous animals after they’ve escaped from the zoo and a police officer says, “That Spiderman is a poor man’s Frank Buck!” (#12, Page 13)
Wikipedia tells me that Frank Buck was a famous naturalist and movie man from the 1930s and 40s. He wrote a renowned book called “Bring’em Back Alive” about his trips around the world to capture exotic animals. So this reference makes perfect sense.

Unmasked by Dr. Octopus

This is a two-part series in which Dr. Octopus has escaped from prison and is hell-bent on fighting Spiderman. The subplot in the first issue deals with Betty Brant’s terrible secret and the next with Liz Allen finally turning her opinion of Peter Parker around.

The first thing that’s apparent is that Peter Parker has aged. This is one of the things I’ve been most looking forward to. Peter Parker starts out as a fifteen-year-old boy, but eventually attends college, gets married, and, I think, becomes a science teacher or something. So, if I were to guess, Parker has to age fifteen to twenty years from 1963 to 2009. That’s about forty-five years aging approximately four years a decade. The jump that I’ve noticed is most likely from 15 to 17 or 18.

In issue #6, Face-to-Face with the Lizard, Peter Parker wants to travel to Florida. Aunt May will not let him go because he’s too young and only concedes when she knows he’ll be chaperoned by J. Jonah Jameson. Aunt May is a terrible judge of character. In issue #11, Peter takes a train to Philadelphia by himself and Aunt May says, “How nice, Peter! That trip will do you good.” (Page 7) Now, I know a train ride to Phillie from New York is a little different than traveling all the way to Florida, but it’s not a journey you’d let a fifteen-year-old take by himself.

Peter Parker wants to go to Philadelphia because he witnessed a conversation between Betty Brant and Dr. Octopus indicating they were driving there together.

What!?!

Yeah. Betty Brant is driving a raving lunatic with four metal arms across state lines. Doc Ock has just been released from prison for “good behavior.” This is another indicator that some time has passed. He was originally arrested for kidnapping, probably, and it would take at least two or three years for him to be out on probation. He’s spent the whole time seething over his fight with Spiderman and he’s raring for a rematch. He’s also gotten very interested in organized crime, which is a pretty large detour from the mad scientist bit he was playing before.

We finally get the dirt on Betty upon reaching Philadelphia. It’s not that bad. Her brother is the lawyer for a Pennsylvanian gangster and has fallen into deep gambling debts that he can’t pay. Betty has been trying to pay off the debt for her brother and has somehow arranged for the newly released Dr. Octopus to break the crime boss out of a high security jail. This should release her brother from his obligations. But one should never trust generic crime bosses. They are destined to break promises.

The crime boss’s escape plan includes sailing away on a boat with Betty and her brother as hostages. Doc Ock announces to the boat load of gangsters that he is double crossing the crime boss and taking over the syndicate. A gun fight breaks out and Spiderman shows up to punch everyone in the face.

Spiderman fights a sloppy fight, often leaving Betty and her brother unprotected and even putting them in danger. At one point he is tussling with the crime boss as the leading gangster wildly fires his weapon. One of the stray bullets hits Betty’s brother and he dies shortly after. Betty says to him, “If you hadn’t interfered, if you hadn’t tried to be a hero, it might not have happened!” (Page 13) Thus begins what will most likely be a problem in the future, Betty Brant loves Peter Parker, but blames Spiderman for her brother’s death. There’s a long, violent fight on the boat and Dr. Octopus gets away, ending the first issue.

The next book opens with J. Jonah Jameson’s replacement secretary quitting. She says, “You don’t need a secretary, you need a psychiatrist. (#12, page 1) Read the blog on issue #10 and you’ll see that I completely agree with her. This resignation paves the way for Betty to return to the Daily Bugle, which she promptly does.

Meanwhile, Octopus is ravaging the country, going from city to city robbing banks and high jacking trucks in the hopes that Spiderman will come fight him again. When nothing seems to draw the web-slinger out, he returns to NYC and kidnaps Betty Brant. He challenges Spiderman to fight him in Coney Island and has Jameson run an ad for Spiderman in the paper. In a twist that could only happen to Peter Parker, our hero comes down with the twenty-four hour flu. He’s so sick he can barely walk. But he fights Octopus anyway, gets his ass handed to him, and has his secret identity shown to everybody watching. The trick is that he was so weak that Octopus, and everyone watching, assumes that Parker dressed up in a Spiderman outfit because he didn’t think the real thing would show up and he wanted to save his girlfriend. Peter gets healthy and then returns to defeat Octopus.

Things are going well for Peter Parker. Because Liz Allen thinks he risked his life to save Betty, she immediately goes about trying to steal Peter away from her. Flash jabs at Peter like he always does and Liz yells, “As far as I’m concerned, Peter Parker proved he has enough courage to match his brains.” (Page 10). She spends the rest of the issue shamelessly flirting with Peter.

Liz Allen is a complete drama case and I’m really glad Peter went for Betty instead. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Liz Allen eventually becomes Liz Osborn after marrying Harry Osborn, heir to the Green Goblin insanity. I remember there was a whole story-line in the Spectacular Spiderman series where the reader was made to feel bad for her. Whatever. She gets what she deserves. She asks Peter out on a date at the end of the issue and he turns her down saying, “I’m sure Flash will be happy to go instead of me. Although I know how boring it must be to use all those one-syllable words when you talk to him. Anyway, you two deserve each other.” (Page 22) Zing! Tell her, Peter.

The Amazing Spiderman #10

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

The Enforcers

The Enforcers are hilarious. They are bad-guy mobsters straight out of Dick Tracey. Their leader is known as The Big Man and he introduces his gang as if they played bass, drums and lead guitar in his band a few pages into the comic . There’s Montana, who is an ace with a lasso and speaks with a Texas drawl, Ox, the big man, and my favorite, Fancy Dan. Fancy Dan is a very small black belt in judo. Fancy Dan often talks about how small he is and how good at judo he is. He loves to point out the fact that, though he’s small, people should not underestimate him because he holds a black belt in judo. Plus, he’s fancy.

The Big Man is strong-arming all the mobsters in New York City into working for him. If they don’t obey, the Enforcers clean house. He wears a mask and no one knows his identity. J. Jonah Jameson, of course, thinks Spiderman is the Big Man and forces his poor lead writer, Foswell, to write articles supporting this theory. Spiderman sees Jonah at the scene of several of the mob bosses crimes which leads our hero into thinking J.J. is the culprit. So the two main characters are pointing fingers at each other and it turns out to be Foswell, the lead writer of the Daily Bugle who came out of no where for this one issue. Both sides are chagrinned at not seeing the obvious. It sounds unbearably hokey, but it was a pretty decent issue, filled with amusing gangster pastiche.

The meat of the story is the character development of both major characters from the Daily Bugle, Jameson and Betty Brant. Jameson has a particularly pathetic soliloquy at the end of the book. He stands by himself in the darkness, shoulders slumped, and regrets trying, once again, to pin Spiderman as a criminal. He says, “All my life I’ve been interested in one thing: money. And yet, Spiderman risks his life, day after day, with no thought of reward. If a man like him is good- is a hero- then what am I?” (Page 22)

This is the first time Jameson appears in private and his behavior is radically different from his public persona. In the public forum, he seems incapable of introspection. He’s a blustering know-it-all that won’t take guff from anyone. He has an unlimited supply of energy and will work tirelessly to prove that his world view is the correct one. But the private Jameson is depressed, painfully self-aware, almost suicidal. He says, “Spiderman represents everything I’m not. He’s brave, powerful, and unselfish. The truth is, I envy him. I, J. Jonah Jameson- millionaire, man of the world, civic leader- I’d give everything I own to be the man he is. But I can never climb to his level.” (Page 22) At first glance, Jameson is a megalomaniac, a demigod in his land of newspaper, but upon further inspection, he doesn’t simply have a vanity issue or a quirky personality, but may be manic depressive. His highs are unbelievably high and his lows are rock bottom.

Betty Brant is also falling apart. We received a hint last issue that she may have some dark secret when she correctly identified one of Peter’s personality traits saying, “You’re beginning to enjoy the danger- the excitement. Just like someone else I know”. (AS #9, page 14) She had to drop out of high school because of her secret and the mystery also involves money that she owns to a lone shark. This is where the Enforcers come in. The Big Man has taken over all the loans in the city and the Enforcers are going around, person to person, collecting.

Also, somewhere between issues, Peter and Betty have begun officially dating. Peter shows up when the Enforcers are threatening Betty and almost gets into a mild-mannered fight. Betty promises the Enforcers she’ll pay if they just leave Peter alone and thinks, “I can’t let the dearest, most wonderful boy I’ve ever known get mixed up with the Enforcers because of me!” (Page 8) She freaks out, won’t return Peter’s phone calls, and skips town. This has been building for a few issues now and the tension is at its height for the next storyline, which is a two-parter featuring the return of Dr. Octopus. This is going to be good.

The Amazing Spiderman #9

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

The Man Called Electro

This issue marks the first appearance of everyone’s favorite electricity-based villain (besides the Shocker and Living Lightning), Electro. Electro is a former electrician and professional son of a bitch. There’s a flashback sequence on page 11 where Electro, pre-powers, then known as Max Dillon, is asked to save a man who is stranded on a telephone pole. Dillon is a wiz electrician and can climb telephone poles really well. The comic treats these two traits as if they are non-exclusive, but I don’t think they are. If you want to be an electrician but aren’t the best climber, don’t give up on your dreams.

Anyway, Dillon saves the man, but only after he extorts money from him, thus proving his son-of-a-bitchedness. Later, he’s up on the pole and gets struck by lightning while working on the lines, gaining mastery over electricity. He immediately begins a life of crime.

While robbing a bank, Electro has a run-in with J. Jonah Jameson. The two converse as Electro cleans the place out and J.J. is left with the unshakable hunch that the villain is a second identity for Spiderman. In other words, he believes Electro and Spiderman to be the same person.

Jameson wants photographic proof so that he can sell it in the papers and he charges Peter Parker with this task. Of course, Parker knows this is impossible because he is, in fact Spiderman. But there is a second plot line that comes into play.
Aunt May is sick. There are no specifics given, but she is eventually hospitalized and must have some type of surgery. The Parkers are on a tight budget and Peter is stressed about finding the money. He compromises his morals and fakes a picture to make it look as if Spiderman is actually Electro. He thinks to himself, “I hate taking money under false pretenses, but I’ll make it up…somehow.” (Page 11)

There was (maybe still is) a comic series called “What if...” Each months this series gave an alternative history for the Marvel Comics world; What if the Silver Surfer was trapped on Earth, it might inquire, or What if the Punisher killed Spiderman? What if Wolverine was king of the vampires? Seriously. They asked this. I own the issue. It’s actually pretty good.

I don’t know that “What if…” ever covered The Amazing Spiderman #9, but they should. This is a definite crux in Peter Parker’s life. He has been tempted already to fall into villainy. First, he thought about robbing armored cars (Amazing Spiderman #1, Page 3), and then he momentarily entertained joining Doctor Doom (AS #5, Page 5), and in that same issue he nearly let Flash Thompson die because of a petty grudge (Page 11). Now Peter has some stress that is not so petty. Aunt May is seriously ill and he needs quick cash. He compromises his morals and fakes the picture, ripping off the Daily Bugle and misleading all of New York City. Aunt May gets better, he renders Electro unconscious, and everything works out in the end.

But What if…

If Aunt May hadn’t made it through her surgery it would have been a different story. She is the road block to Peter choosing a life of crime. When his mask rips while fighting the Sandman (AS #4, Page 5) and he has an identity scare. He instantly thinks of what would happen to Aunt May, how he would be arrested and she would end up selling shoe laces on the street for ten cents.

Again, seriously. There’s a picture of Peter imagining Aunt May with a sad babushka over her gray hair, standing on the street hocking shoe laces. Seems like a bad business plan.

Without this safety, without Aunt May, Peter would have no reason to hold back his need for violence and competition. He would have no reason to squash his greed. Peter Parker would disappear and a chaotic Spiderman would roam New York City full-time. But she pulls through and he remains a hero. He hasn’t resolved his issues, far from it, but he survived a close call.

The Amazing Spiderman #8

January, 1964

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

Bizarre Line:

Peter won’t let Flash Thompson have a piece of paper and Thompson says, “Well, well. So the worm turns, eh? And in your case I do mean worm!”

Wikipedia actually didn’t know what this meant. But Phrasefinder did. “The worm turns” is a phrase meaning that someone previously downtrodden gets his revenge or that an unfavorable situation is reversed. It probably derives from an old proverb, 'Tread on a worm and it will turn.' It means that even the most humble creature tries to counteract rough treatment. Flash has actually used this phrase correctly.

The Terrible Threat of the Living Brain

I’m going to keep this short, because this issue is awful. The cover says it’s a “Special Tribute to Teenagers.” This made me wary and I was right to be so. ‘Tribute to Teenagers’ means ‘dumbed down more than normal.’

Basically, Midtown High has brought in a super-robot to demonstrate in the science class. The machine is really smart and can answer any question. The scientist in charge of the robot, Dr. Petty, gives it the name ‘The Living Brain.’ This is a complete misnomer as a normal brain, one which resides in a mammal or reptile, is living, whereas this one is not. He might have named it ‘The Only Non-Living Brain.’ This would have been more accurate. The robot runs amuck after someone bumps it and Spiderman has to figure out how to shut the thing off.

The social aspect of the issue features the final showdown between Peter Parker and Flash Thompson. Their science teacher, sick of the verbal jousting in his classroom, suggests that they go to the gym and box.

Of course.

Peter spends the whole time trying to pull his punches but ends up knocking Flash unconscious twice, one time for over half an hour. He might have damaged Flash’s spinal cord and he definitely gave him a concussion. I will pay attention to see if Flash is markedly stupider after this issue. Peter still comes out as the heel because of a foul during the boxing match.

Stan Lee couldn’t drag The Living Brain story out for the whole issue, so there’s a short story at the end. It goes like this: Spiderman visits the Human Torch’s girlfriend’s house in order to try and steal her away from Johnny. The Torch is there and everyone’s having a good time. Spiderman creeps in the back door and throws webbing on everyone, then proceeds to ridicule the party. He fights the Torch, the same Torch that gave him the inspirational speech which helped him defeat Dr. Octopus (Amazing Spiderman #3). After fighting the Human Torch for a while, the rest of the Fantastic Four shows up. He fights them too. Then he makes a pass at Sue Storm and leaves. The end.

I guess Stan Lee was receiving a lot of letters asking who would win in a fight, Spiderman or the Human Torch, and, since this was a tribute to teenagers, he decided to give it to them. Spiderman behaves completely out of character the entire time and I don’t tend to treat this small piece of poop as part of the series.

The only point of interest in this whole comic was that Jack Kirby drew his first Spiderman in the Spidey vs. Torch section. There are some differences. Spiderman’s a little bulkier and the eyes on his costume are smaller. Kirby also draws regular people in a more classic way which reminds me of art deco from the twenties. If I had to pick, I’d say I’m a Ditko man. I like Spiderman small and wiry, and his extras have more personality and a unique look to them. Let’s just move on to the next issue. I think it’s the first appearance of Electro. So that should be good.

The Amazing Spiderman #7

December, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

Bizarre Line from the Vulture:

Jewelry Store Clerk: How did you get in here?

The Vulture: The same way I’m going to leave. With your valuable gems!

I feel like this line rivals the Wedding Crashers “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me” joke. But I don’t think it was intentional.

The Return of the Vulture

The Vulture becomes the first villain to make a repeat appearance. He bided his time in jail and made good with the guards while he was recreating his flying device from parts he stole from the machine shop. As soon as he escapes he flies in a window and robs a jewelry store.

I love the Vulture. I love the Vulture for completely different reasons than I love Dr. Octopus. I love the Vulture for almost the exact same reasons I hate the early renditions of the Sandman. He has no motivations except money and riches. He doesn’t have any friends and it doesn’t seem like he ever spends the money on anything. He lives in an abandoned silo where he drinks by himself thinking “This is the life” (Page 11) while planning his next heist. At one point he decides to steal The Daily Bugle’s paychecks (because he has some way of cashing them? I don’t know. Did paychecks work differently back then?). When J. Jonah Jameson offers to give him good press if he just leaves the money be, the Vulture says, “All I want is money, Mister! Your money!” The Vulture cares not for good press. He just wants to steal shit.

Now, I understand I knocked the Sandman for the same thing a few issues ago. But the Vulture is different. He pulls off the one-dimensional criminal much better. The fact that he’s old makes him a bit more endearing than the rugged Sandman. And not only is he old, but he’s a comparably weak super-villain. Spiderman kicks his ass most times they fight and the old man actually uses a pistol in his robberies, like some worn-out Dick Tracey crook. The Vulture is classic and vintage, whereas the Sandman just seems poorly thought-out.

The Vulture also works as a cautionary tale for Spiderman. Sometimes Spiderman’s motivations are greed and violence; like in his early attempts to become a television star (The Amazing Spiderman #1 and #2) or the many times he roams the city looking for physical challenges. Sometimes they are guilt and justice; like when he saved Flash Thompson because he couldn’t let an innocent die (Amazing Spiderman #5) or when he made the serum for Curt Conners because the doctor deserved to live (The Amazing Spiderman #6). If Spiderman gave into his darker half he could easily end up like the Vulture. At times, it would seem appealing to Peter to be by himself in a silo in Staten Island. No Aunt May to worry about, no kids at school making fun of him, and no worries about money, he could just take whatever he wants. He could become an aggressive, solitary thing and have all his worldly desires.

The Vulture terrorizes Betty Brant when he hits the Daily Bugle. She hides behind a desk and waits it out as Spiderman beats up the winged geriatric. This is the perfect opportunity for young Peter Parker to make his move. He finds her behind the desk after the action is over and asks if he can sit next to her. She complies and he compliments her perfume. Here’s the exchange that follows on page 21.

Betty: Peter Parker! That’s the closest thing to a romantic remark I’ve ever heard you say.

Peter: Gosh, I can be more romantic than that. Here, rest your head on my shoulder, blue eyes, and let’s enjoy the silence.

Betty: But what will Mr. Jameson say?

Peter: Nothing, baby. For at least an hour.

Pretty hot stuff. I’d say Peter has officially made his move. Now, the “for at least an hour” line comes off as overly sexual when read out of context. And it is sexual at some level. It could imply that they have an hour to fool around or that Parker could last an hour in bed, if read a certain way. But Spiderman has recently webbed shut Jameson’s mouth and the webbing won’t wear off for at least an hour. So, on the surface, that’s what he’s referring to. But if it lasts more than four hours, someone should contact their physician.

I find it interesting that Parker uses the “blue eyes” line again. He said almost the same thing to Liz Allen in the last issue. There’s two ways I can look at this. Firstly, it could be that Peter has some misogynistic tendencies. He sees every woman as a puzzle to be figured out and he will approach each of them the same way, using the same lines. This theory could be backed by Peter’s comment about Betty’s job, “I sure wish you were the publisher instead of just being his secretary.” (The Amazing Spiderman # 6, Page 3) Now, this isn’t over-the-top rude, but the inclusion of the word ‘just’ shows that Peter finds her inferior and somehow this inferiority makes her attractive to him.

The other way I see it has everything to do with adrenaline. He first uses the line directly after beating up three jewelry thieves. His normal shyness and awkwardness is banished and he just drops the line on Liz Allen. The same thing happens with Betty. He’s just walked in from defeating the Vulture and sees a love interest cowering behind a desk. He’s still full of adrenaline, feels strong and confident, and uses the line again. Being pumped up after a fight makes him more forward but less creative.

Either way, the line worked twice, so I suppose he should keep using it.

And to end on a light note, here’s a letter from Sidney of Massachusetts that was published at the end of this issue:

Stan and Steve,

I think Peter Parker should have a girlfriend who sticks up for him when he’s being bullied; and I don’t mean some chick who’s homely, wears specs and a sack dress, with black and white saddle shoes, and is as science-minded as he is. I mean a doll with a good figure, get-up-and-go, who digs jazz and rock-n-roll. You follow me?

Sidney Wright, Mass

The Amazing Spiderman #6

November, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

Favorite Bizarre Reference:

Jameson: Who’s that?

Spiderman: Well, it’s not Fats Domino!

I actually know who Fats Domino is, but Wikipediaed it anyhow. Antoine Dominique or Fats Domino was a singer in the fifties who was famous for songs such as “Ain’t that a Shame,” “Blueberry Hill,” and “Whole Lotta Lovin.’” Chubby Checker, of Twist fame, named himself in honor of Domino. I really don’t know why Spiderman would bring him up.

Face-to-Face with The Lizard

Spiderman hates scientists. He hates them and he punches them in the face whenever he meets them. He finds out what experiments they’re working on and smashes their beakers before kicking their ass and having them arrested. Or at least it seems that way. Dr. Octopus, Dr. Doom, and now; Enter Dr. Curtis Connors, a.k.a The Lizard.

I guess Spiderman doesn’t really hate Connors. He respects him, protects his family, and saves him from a fate worse than death. Curtis Connors lost his arm in the war (probably WWII) and came back home to study reptiles, marry his high school sweetheart, and rear a polite, little child in the Everglades. He finds that reptiles can do something he can’t; namely, grow a new arm. He whips up some secret serum and has success growing a pair of legs on a rabbit. Though growing two rabbit’s feet should bring him luck, it harbors nothing but hard times for poor Curtis. He breaks rule #1 in the mad scientist’s handbook and drinks his own serum. He then turns into a giant man-lizard and begins to quickly lose his mind.

Peter Parker flies to Florida on the Daily Bugle’s coin, quickly ditches J. Jonah Jameson, and it’s on. After his initial fight with the Lizard, he meets Connors’ family and learns the whole story. For some reason he doesn’t smash all the doctor’s beakers, but instead creates a formula that will cure Connors of his condition. They fight again, Spiderman forces the stuff down the Lizard’s throat, and all is well with the world. No one gets arrested. It’s a pretty decent story and I’d give it a not-as-good-as-Doc-Ock-but-definitely-better-than-the-Sandman rating.

And, of course, the Parker drama is what carries the story. There’s an interesting development forming in Peter Parker’s life, a perfect storm, if you will. Let me set the scene for you:

Peter goes to the Museum of Natural History to bone up on reptiles. He runs into Flash Thompson and Liz Allen on a pseudo-date. There also happens to be three gunmen that have stolen a ruby or something from the museum. In broad daylight. And they’re just trying to walk out with it. The hoods are spotted, they take Liz hostage, and Spiderman saves her. Liz thanks him and Spiderman answers, “The pleasure was all mine, blue eyes.” He has the proportionate suaveness of a spider as well. Liz freaks out and develops a giant crush on Spiderman saying, “He saved me! He called me blue eyes! I’ll never forget him.” (Page 5)

And just a few days before, Betty Brant, secretary of J. Jonah Jameson, whispered into Peter’s ear, “I may only be J.J.’s secretary, but I think you’re wonderful.” (The Amazing Spiderman #5) Who’s a bookworm now, Flash Thompson? Peter’s been all about Liz Allen for three issues, but doesn’t let that stop him from chatting up Brant. Check out this exchange:

Betty: Peter! Where have you been? Jameson’s been looking everywhere for you.

Peter: (Coyly leaning against a filing cabinet) No wonder he didn’t find me. I haven’t been everywhere.

Possibly the shittiest flirting in print. But it seems to work. Peter would have asked her out right then if he wasn’t interrupted by Jameson. At the end of the issue, when everything is resolved with the Lizard and he’s back in New York City, he thinks of calling Betty to ask her on a date. He remembers at the last second that she’s working late for Jameson and decides instead, in the same speech bubble even, to call Liz. Liz says, “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Flash Thompson. I’ll thank you to not call and tie up my phone. I’m waiting for a call from Spiderman.” (Page 21)

Now, this might seem like he struck out twice, but give it some thought. He has two identities and two cute chicks, one interested in each identity. To make an out-of-order reference, Zack Morris could not have planned it better. He could definitely date both girls at the same time. And, on some subconscious level, he’s probably angling for it. If they find out what’s going on it won’t matter, because at that point his secret identity is compromised and he’ll have bigger problems than girl trouble. Like, for instance, Dr. Octopus will probably strangle Aunt May.

The Amazing Spiderman #5

October, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

My Favorite Random Reference: Geiger Counter

Doctor Doom: There! I’ve devised an instrument which will react to a spider’s impulses the way a Geiger Counter reacts to uranium!

Wikipedia tells me that a Geiger Counter is a device, invented by Hans Geiger in 1908, that detects levels of radiation. I find it interesting that this could be included in a comic book in 1963 with no explanation. It gives frightening insight on people’s mindsets at the time.

Marked for Destruction by Doctor Doom

In Amazing Spiderman #5, Spidey fights his second PhD in three issues, Doctor Doom. Unlike the last two villains, we don’t get much in the way of an introduction to Victor Von Doom because he’s already appeared a few times in The Fantastic Four. It’s a decent issue with some Peter Parker drama and a heavy dose of action.
The stress in Spiderman’s life has built to a crescendo. Jameson has stepped up his campaign against Spiderman and has gone so far as to buy time on television in order to alert the public to the menace which is vigilantism. The dichotomy in Peter’s life begins here when we find that Flash Thompson has a man-crush on Spiderman, but can’t stand Peter Parker. Just as Jameson loves Parker’s pictures but wants the webslinger behind bars. Just as Aunt May dotes on her young nephew but thinks Spiderman is as bad as Doctor Doom. (Page 7) There are very few people who like both identities.
One of the exceptions is Betty Brant, the sexy brunette who works as Jameson’s secretary. She sticks up for Spiderman in front of Peter and he immediately thinks, “Well, well! I never knew I had an ally in J.J.’s secretary. And I never realized how pretty Betty Brant was either… till now.” (Page 6) Again, Lee makes an ingenious stroke by molding Parker not as a super-hero, but as a run-of-the-mill fifteen-year-old, complete with egomaniacal vanity and quick crushes.
The razzing that Peter receives in school has been scaled up too. If, like I argued in the last blog, Peter was popular at one point, he no longer is. Flash Thompson has decided that he wants to kick the shit out of Peter Parker and he goes to great lengths to antagonize him into a fight.
This time, Spiderman doesn’t go after Doctor Doom in order to take pictures for Jameson. He is actually lured in by Doom in the villain’s attempt to form a team against the Fantastic Four. The scary part is that Spiderman actually considers it, thinking out loud, “Me team up with you, hm? Man, wouldn’t that be a gasser? Jameson would really have something to howl about then.” (Page 4) Again, he sits right on the line between hero and villain, a true prepubescent, not sure what the future holds or who he will be.
An even scarier scene occurs when Liz Allen calls Parker, desperate for help. Flash Thompson has decided to dress up like Spiderman in some bone-headed attempt to harass Peter. Thompson was mistaken by Doom for the real thing and captured. Liz, for some reason, thinks Peter Parker can help with this situation, not knowing that she’s unwittingly called Spiderman and done the best thing she could to save Flash. Peter says he can’t help and after he hangs up the phone we get one of the most disturbing panels that Ditko has drawn yet. Peter goes split face with the Spiderman mask, as Ditko loves to do, and forms a terrible grimace, looking much like the evil scientists he often fights. He thinks, “All I have to do is keep out of it and Flash Thompson will never bother Peter Parker again. Things are finally going my way!” (Page 8) He corrects these downright evil thoughts a moment later, remembering that he’s supposed to be a hero and must save the teenage Thompson from certain death. But there is a moment when he clearly crossed onto that bitter and dark road which is the super villain, where other’s misfortune is opportunity, where the death of an innocent can be a positive thing.
There’s a pretty spectacular fight in Doctor Doom’s secret lair. It goes back and forth for over half the comic book, showing off all types of different techniques with Spiderman’s powers that we hadn’t seen before. The surprising thing is that Spiderman actually lost this fight and the Fantastic Four show up just before Doom can deliver the killing blow, causing the good Doctor to flee. As in issue #4, the action was all right, but the social and psychological dramas of Peter Parker tend to be more interesting than the adventures of the friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

The Amazing Spiderman #4

September, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

My Favorite Bizarre Reference

Random Criminal: Spiderman!

Spiderman: Well, it ain’t Dr. Kildare!

Wikipedia tells me that Dr. Kildare was a fictional medical doctor created by Frederick Schiller Faust that starred first in a radio show, then a television show and film, and then a short run of comics. I don’t know why Spiderman would bring up Dr. Kildare.

Nothing can Stop the Sandman

I’m not all that pumped about the Sandman story. Coming directly after the Dr. Octopus masterpiece, it seems sort of hokey. The Sandman is a smart aleck wise guy whose motivations are cardboard and childish. At one point he breaks into Peter Parker’s school and demands that the principal give him a diploma because he never graduated from high school. Other than that, he likes to rob banks and show off his freak-show powers.
At times, the plot got so predictable that it was funny. Peter Parker is carrying a bunch of old science project stuff to be thrown away as he thinks about how to defeat the Sandman. He runs into a janitor who says, “Leave’em there, sonny! I’ll get rid of’em as soon as I adjust this new King-sized vacuum cleaner!” I believe it was Anton Chekov who said, “"If in the first act you have hung a new King-sized vacuum cleaner on the wall, then in the following one it should suck up the villain. Otherwise don't put it there.” So, yeah, the Sandman eventually gets sucked into the thing and turned over to the police.
But the entire issue wasn’t a bust. There are some developments in Peter Parker’s social life that carry the story. But before I get into that, I need to make a note on Peter being a social outcast.
I’m not sure that he is a social outcast. Yes, the preppy group that’s always hanging around in science class or outside of school makes fun of him. All the time. But the razzing consistently comes right after they ask him to go somewhere and he turns them down. It goes like this: The group has an event to attend, one of the girls asks Peter to come along, he says he can’t, usually because Spiderman has something pressing to do, and then Flash Thompson calls him a bookworm. This has happened in almost every story.
I had a friend in high school named Tim. Tim was always telling us he was busy and couldn’t hang out. I specifically remember one time when he told us he couldn’t come to a party because he was painting a door. I remember this excuse because we made fun of him behind his back for about three years because of it. To this day, if Tim is in town for Thanksgiving and can’t come out the night before, someone will inevitably say, “Oh, he’s probably painting a door.”
We didn’t make fun of Tim because we disliked him or because we thought he was a dork. On the contrary, we thought Tim was super cool and wanted to hang out with him. But it constantly felt like he was dodging us, so we ragged on him to make ourselves feel better. Tim probably had a perfectly good reason for not going out. He might not have wanted to underage drink on a Wednesday night. Maybe he had to study. Maybe he was a masked adventurer and had to prowl the streets of East Carnegie. Maybe he actually had to paint a door. I don’t know.
The point is, it’s possible that Peter’s high school assailants are would-be friends. Peter keeps rejecting them and they prod at him in self-defense. In Amazing Spiderman #4 Peter has somehow secured a date with Liz Allen, the hottest chick in school. How could he do this if he wasn’t, on some level, popular? Peter has to break the date and Liz is hurt. She runs into the arms of Flash Thompson and he and Peter almost come to blows at the end of the issue before Peter realizes he might literally rip Thompson’s head from his shoulders if he punched him. The prettiest girl in school doesn’t choose between the jock and the desperate dweeb. She chooses between two popular kids. We see Peter Parker’s high school situation through his eyes and his sensitivities. Friends are reaching out to him and all he sees are insults and accusations of guilt.


This is a picture of Jenny painting a door. She still managed to get trashed that night.

The Amazing Spiderman #3

July, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

My Favorite Bizarre Reference Made by Spiderman:

Doc Ock: Spiderman!
Spiderman: Well, it ain’t Albert Shweitzer!

Wikipedia tells me that Albert Schweitzer is the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner. He’s a philosopher and musician. I have no idea why Spiderman would bring him up.

Spiderman Versus the Strangest Foe of all: Dr. Octopus

In Amazing Spiderman #3 we get our first “book length” story, as it says on the cover. Lee and Ditko introduce Dr. Otto Octavius, a brilliant physicist who’s developed a harness with metal arms to help him work with radioactive chemicals, earning him the nickname ‘Dr. Octopus.’ A horrible accident ensues and Octavius is left brain damaged and forever bonded with his metal arms. When he wakes, he has left Otto behind and become the homicidal scientist, Dr. Octopus.
The difference between the shorts and full-length is stunning. Gone are the radio-show-like, paper-thin plots that dominated the first half dozen Spiderman tales. They are replaced by an actual character study of Dr. Octopus and development of the main character, Peter Parker. The slower pace resulted in the best issue so far, with a believable science fiction storyline and legitimately exciting action. But the most interesting bits are the throw-away lines from a restless Spiderman.
Peter Parker, to the young fan, seems like a precocious hero looking to mix it up with some bad guys. But a more sophisticated reading reveals a dark and troubled child. Peter’s parents are missing and no one ever talks about them. His only male guardian was shot and killed and he’s haunted by feelings of guilt. The guilt is compounded by the fact that his widowed Aunt is pawning her jewelry to pay rent (Amazing Spiderman #1). Plus, he has no friends and a huge secret he couldn’t tell them if he did. This isn’t the making of a hero, but a recipe for a psychopath. The line between hero and villain is precariously thin and the Spiderman from the first three issues straddles it.
At the beginning of this issue, Spiderman stops three criminals from stealing a large safe, presumably full of money. After knocking the crap out of the bandits he thinks “I almost wish for an opponent who’d give me a run for my money.” (Page 3) He feels no joy at stopping the crime and serving justice to outlaws very similar to those who killed his Uncle Ben. He is just prowling the streets in search of violence.
Dr. Octopus has taken over the hospital where he was recovering from his accident and has put it in lockdown. Peter hears about the situation from J. Jonah Jameson at The Daily Bugle, which he apparently runs alongside Now Magazine. Like his encounter with the Vulture, he goes after Doc Ock looking to take pictures and pay some bills. Dr. Octopus holds some of the doctors and nurses captive, making them assist him in his mad experiments when Spiderman comes upon them. Peter thinks, “So the good doctor has flipped his lid, eh? Well, this is just what I’ve been hoping for, a little action.” (Page 6) He is not driven to save the people Octopus has taken captive, he just wants to fight. He has no father and no more Uncle Ben, so he needs to go toe-to-toe with every tough guy he can find in order to prove to the world that he’s a man. His motivations are not justice and responsibility, but greed and suppressed rage.
It’s a devastating letdown when Octopus defeats him in their first battle. There’s a particularly gut-wrenching box on page seven where Spiderman is bound and helpless in the mechanical arms. Octopus slaps him across the face with his real hand and says, “You dared to mock me before! Why aren’t you mocking me now? Where are your brave words and taunts now, Spiderman?” (Page 7) Octopus then hurls him out the window. The loss is so crushing that Peter almost retires the costume.
This proves to be one of the early steps in the building of Spiderman’s superhero morale. The next day he attends a speaking event held by the Human Torch where he’s told, “Don’t be discouraged if it sometimes seems tough. The important thing is, never give up!” He thanks the Torch, devises a plan, and defeats Octopus on the second go-round. Though he still harbors dark psychological issues, Spiderman has learned a lesson which will get him through many battles: have courage in the face of adversity.