The Amazing Spiderman #6

November, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

Favorite Bizarre Reference:

Jameson: Who’s that?

Spiderman: Well, it’s not Fats Domino!

I actually know who Fats Domino is, but Wikipediaed it anyhow. Antoine Dominique or Fats Domino was a singer in the fifties who was famous for songs such as “Ain’t that a Shame,” “Blueberry Hill,” and “Whole Lotta Lovin.’” Chubby Checker, of Twist fame, named himself in honor of Domino. I really don’t know why Spiderman would bring him up.

Face-to-Face with The Lizard

Spiderman hates scientists. He hates them and he punches them in the face whenever he meets them. He finds out what experiments they’re working on and smashes their beakers before kicking their ass and having them arrested. Or at least it seems that way. Dr. Octopus, Dr. Doom, and now; Enter Dr. Curtis Connors, a.k.a The Lizard.

I guess Spiderman doesn’t really hate Connors. He respects him, protects his family, and saves him from a fate worse than death. Curtis Connors lost his arm in the war (probably WWII) and came back home to study reptiles, marry his high school sweetheart, and rear a polite, little child in the Everglades. He finds that reptiles can do something he can’t; namely, grow a new arm. He whips up some secret serum and has success growing a pair of legs on a rabbit. Though growing two rabbit’s feet should bring him luck, it harbors nothing but hard times for poor Curtis. He breaks rule #1 in the mad scientist’s handbook and drinks his own serum. He then turns into a giant man-lizard and begins to quickly lose his mind.

Peter Parker flies to Florida on the Daily Bugle’s coin, quickly ditches J. Jonah Jameson, and it’s on. After his initial fight with the Lizard, he meets Connors’ family and learns the whole story. For some reason he doesn’t smash all the doctor’s beakers, but instead creates a formula that will cure Connors of his condition. They fight again, Spiderman forces the stuff down the Lizard’s throat, and all is well with the world. No one gets arrested. It’s a pretty decent story and I’d give it a not-as-good-as-Doc-Ock-but-definitely-better-than-the-Sandman rating.

And, of course, the Parker drama is what carries the story. There’s an interesting development forming in Peter Parker’s life, a perfect storm, if you will. Let me set the scene for you:

Peter goes to the Museum of Natural History to bone up on reptiles. He runs into Flash Thompson and Liz Allen on a pseudo-date. There also happens to be three gunmen that have stolen a ruby or something from the museum. In broad daylight. And they’re just trying to walk out with it. The hoods are spotted, they take Liz hostage, and Spiderman saves her. Liz thanks him and Spiderman answers, “The pleasure was all mine, blue eyes.” He has the proportionate suaveness of a spider as well. Liz freaks out and develops a giant crush on Spiderman saying, “He saved me! He called me blue eyes! I’ll never forget him.” (Page 5)

And just a few days before, Betty Brant, secretary of J. Jonah Jameson, whispered into Peter’s ear, “I may only be J.J.’s secretary, but I think you’re wonderful.” (The Amazing Spiderman #5) Who’s a bookworm now, Flash Thompson? Peter’s been all about Liz Allen for three issues, but doesn’t let that stop him from chatting up Brant. Check out this exchange:

Betty: Peter! Where have you been? Jameson’s been looking everywhere for you.

Peter: (Coyly leaning against a filing cabinet) No wonder he didn’t find me. I haven’t been everywhere.

Possibly the shittiest flirting in print. But it seems to work. Peter would have asked her out right then if he wasn’t interrupted by Jameson. At the end of the issue, when everything is resolved with the Lizard and he’s back in New York City, he thinks of calling Betty to ask her on a date. He remembers at the last second that she’s working late for Jameson and decides instead, in the same speech bubble even, to call Liz. Liz says, “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Flash Thompson. I’ll thank you to not call and tie up my phone. I’m waiting for a call from Spiderman.” (Page 21)

Now, this might seem like he struck out twice, but give it some thought. He has two identities and two cute chicks, one interested in each identity. To make an out-of-order reference, Zack Morris could not have planned it better. He could definitely date both girls at the same time. And, on some subconscious level, he’s probably angling for it. If they find out what’s going on it won’t matter, because at that point his secret identity is compromised and he’ll have bigger problems than girl trouble. Like, for instance, Dr. Octopus will probably strangle Aunt May.