The Amazing Spiderman #7

December, 1963

Written by Stan Lee, Illustrated by Steve Ditko

Bizarre Line from the Vulture:

Jewelry Store Clerk: How did you get in here?

The Vulture: The same way I’m going to leave. With your valuable gems!

I feel like this line rivals the Wedding Crashers “You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me” joke. But I don’t think it was intentional.

The Return of the Vulture

The Vulture becomes the first villain to make a repeat appearance. He bided his time in jail and made good with the guards while he was recreating his flying device from parts he stole from the machine shop. As soon as he escapes he flies in a window and robs a jewelry store.

I love the Vulture. I love the Vulture for completely different reasons than I love Dr. Octopus. I love the Vulture for almost the exact same reasons I hate the early renditions of the Sandman. He has no motivations except money and riches. He doesn’t have any friends and it doesn’t seem like he ever spends the money on anything. He lives in an abandoned silo where he drinks by himself thinking “This is the life” (Page 11) while planning his next heist. At one point he decides to steal The Daily Bugle’s paychecks (because he has some way of cashing them? I don’t know. Did paychecks work differently back then?). When J. Jonah Jameson offers to give him good press if he just leaves the money be, the Vulture says, “All I want is money, Mister! Your money!” The Vulture cares not for good press. He just wants to steal shit.

Now, I understand I knocked the Sandman for the same thing a few issues ago. But the Vulture is different. He pulls off the one-dimensional criminal much better. The fact that he’s old makes him a bit more endearing than the rugged Sandman. And not only is he old, but he’s a comparably weak super-villain. Spiderman kicks his ass most times they fight and the old man actually uses a pistol in his robberies, like some worn-out Dick Tracey crook. The Vulture is classic and vintage, whereas the Sandman just seems poorly thought-out.

The Vulture also works as a cautionary tale for Spiderman. Sometimes Spiderman’s motivations are greed and violence; like in his early attempts to become a television star (The Amazing Spiderman #1 and #2) or the many times he roams the city looking for physical challenges. Sometimes they are guilt and justice; like when he saved Flash Thompson because he couldn’t let an innocent die (Amazing Spiderman #5) or when he made the serum for Curt Conners because the doctor deserved to live (The Amazing Spiderman #6). If Spiderman gave into his darker half he could easily end up like the Vulture. At times, it would seem appealing to Peter to be by himself in a silo in Staten Island. No Aunt May to worry about, no kids at school making fun of him, and no worries about money, he could just take whatever he wants. He could become an aggressive, solitary thing and have all his worldly desires.

The Vulture terrorizes Betty Brant when he hits the Daily Bugle. She hides behind a desk and waits it out as Spiderman beats up the winged geriatric. This is the perfect opportunity for young Peter Parker to make his move. He finds her behind the desk after the action is over and asks if he can sit next to her. She complies and he compliments her perfume. Here’s the exchange that follows on page 21.

Betty: Peter Parker! That’s the closest thing to a romantic remark I’ve ever heard you say.

Peter: Gosh, I can be more romantic than that. Here, rest your head on my shoulder, blue eyes, and let’s enjoy the silence.

Betty: But what will Mr. Jameson say?

Peter: Nothing, baby. For at least an hour.

Pretty hot stuff. I’d say Peter has officially made his move. Now, the “for at least an hour” line comes off as overly sexual when read out of context. And it is sexual at some level. It could imply that they have an hour to fool around or that Parker could last an hour in bed, if read a certain way. But Spiderman has recently webbed shut Jameson’s mouth and the webbing won’t wear off for at least an hour. So, on the surface, that’s what he’s referring to. But if it lasts more than four hours, someone should contact their physician.

I find it interesting that Parker uses the “blue eyes” line again. He said almost the same thing to Liz Allen in the last issue. There’s two ways I can look at this. Firstly, it could be that Peter has some misogynistic tendencies. He sees every woman as a puzzle to be figured out and he will approach each of them the same way, using the same lines. This theory could be backed by Peter’s comment about Betty’s job, “I sure wish you were the publisher instead of just being his secretary.” (The Amazing Spiderman # 6, Page 3) Now, this isn’t over-the-top rude, but the inclusion of the word ‘just’ shows that Peter finds her inferior and somehow this inferiority makes her attractive to him.

The other way I see it has everything to do with adrenaline. He first uses the line directly after beating up three jewelry thieves. His normal shyness and awkwardness is banished and he just drops the line on Liz Allen. The same thing happens with Betty. He’s just walked in from defeating the Vulture and sees a love interest cowering behind a desk. He’s still full of adrenaline, feels strong and confident, and uses the line again. Being pumped up after a fight makes him more forward but less creative.

Either way, the line worked twice, so I suppose he should keep using it.

And to end on a light note, here’s a letter from Sidney of Massachusetts that was published at the end of this issue:

Stan and Steve,

I think Peter Parker should have a girlfriend who sticks up for him when he’s being bullied; and I don’t mean some chick who’s homely, wears specs and a sack dress, with black and white saddle shoes, and is as science-minded as he is. I mean a doll with a good figure, get-up-and-go, who digs jazz and rock-n-roll. You follow me?

Sidney Wright, Mass